The hub for one ...

in a room to cook ...

The only most used items kept handy ... also the way to function when the cupboards had been clogged with that left to sift through after a clearance and clean en masse  .... 

It 'twas also a way of not being used to the space to function, in getting the cooking that I used to love done. To make healthy food. A spectrum lost in our care ... 

It takes a while to get used to the reclaimed organisation ... you become used to a total different way of surving minute to minute. A day today that sees others using the food banks ... it was good to see the realisation of the food provided more substantial than what we had at the end times. 

And the toiletries to wash and use in hygiene including sanitary wear ... one of my support workers noticed the stock I had of this personal care post trauma.. I did not explain further to the comments. It is something only I know. I had immense problems in this time with no access in the final months to clean my clothes!!! An element completely lost on those who did not do the duty of care! It was horrific along with the socks stuck to my feet ...ouch and eeek !!! 

The clutter in

an environment on a unit of wards within a setting of beds with little quiet in privacy .. yes a place my husband had such a phobia of ... The dance around not only people in the hierarchy of uniforms, the trolleys of all descriptions too. The array of disposal means and cleans ... The hydration ... The dietary restrictions and requirements among the sea of clinicians. It is hard on this unit to have the protected mealtimes ... 

The infection control at an induction day training where you you can't wash your hands enough ... the time allowance for this procedure alone with just the hours I give in various tasks ...

It has given me the insight I require to find a way through and back in life ... the days again in switching on duty to switching off what is seen on these occasions ... 

The many conversations in company of the bluntness or the quiet disquiet in unique ways we all are especially when we can be stuck a while on such a busy ward ... the usually silent acceptance of being there! The reassurance for those confused for whatever reason. 

I am naturally learning as I go, on from those times a tad and a whole lot more in how some things are still stagnant. And some amazing ways it has naturally evolved for the good too. One of the most poignant ways is the continued commitment for communication in optimum when required for Dementia... to lessen the confusion for each individuals when out of their environment so it is known what is liked and disliked etc  ... 

A little time away

from the innards of much still to get back on track ... it is difficult to clock off from home in the home ... it is hard to relax especially when you go out of the comfort zone ... 

I have enjoyed the heat on a shopping precinct and on a high street ... I have met many a random stranger much friendlier than on my doorstep . And in or from the London boroughs ... this week alone in doing so ..

And the movement in stretch of mind and body. The joy of coming back home to cool off with a non alcoholic cocktail, later followed with a Italian style cone of icecream ....

The taste divine of altering my shopping habits to some new flavours not only in seasonal goodies ... lots of differences in the last few months to alter the course of humdrum darkness that are still in the recesses.  The much cleared in small doses of fresh air wafting slowly back in all filters of life 

Navigation

a little of the theme for another Month. The astonishing array in the path that led to this week. The videos, pictures in animation. The playful selfies. The diverse terrain. A daughter very much at the heart of this. A sister, cousin and of course my Mum .... and the wider family in staying with them for the various get togethers...  

The views that flash by travelling, by road or rail. And feet. I have not boarded much other than that. The place where I am at would sink a boat, or the aircraft would drop out the sky. It is bad enough for  the poor lift groaning with me and me luggage! 

Plans to Time in a month

of fish and chips by the sea, a cinema trip and the all important clearing a glut of stuff. We are all eager to move into the next phase of reality coming back in a more of a  contextual life, 

A long weekend in the Summer and a time in anther season in cottage by the sea. And a lot of other new experiences not in the disdainful compliance to deflect my true mode in mood ... The skip back in a step every now and again, again .... instead ... ..

I am back in the part of the week to clear delete and bin ... 

the balance in the new

old ways in counterbalancing all that is significant now to me. The days in the new segment of this lease of life some have at this time. This for some who balance the choice to work with nesting for a family if that is our wish to looking after others generally for whatever circumstances. 

the transitional hours to do new things, getting that into the hours in give and further into the strands now getting picked up  At the end of this period of time that was oft talked about in the initial post trauma to actually getting some wish back on track for me and me only ...