Reduced life even further ...

Today and getting quite ruthless again ...

What can and cannot be done ... achieved or waste of time ... 

The excesses of life ... to me now ... more so than before ... 

Junk, adverts, the unnecessary media in our everyday lives ... to live simply after the weight of clutter 

... This is the aim; from the aimless ...

One day last year ...

Daymer Bay North Cornwall England UK

A 360 degree view from this viewpoint on where I am standing 

EASTER SATURDAY 2015

An area full of many memories ... an area of many a walk and more with picnics and time among the dunes ... and all the sea time fun and frolics ... through all the ages apart from the best part of time of seasons past and now gone forever ... 

I am going to have peace ...

music and low lights to give the ambiance that this type of shadow casts ... over the stuff I can not abide while it is put aside in the mess to get rid of the muddle ...

It is too cold to sleep in a tent at the minute and anyway I can not be bothered with camping now ... that stuff is going when I get someone in ...

Out the window ... Every step of the way ...

Those nice clothes now I have 

To start to organise the pack of these clothes daughter asks as to why I do not wear them at home in the days since ...

This time weight loss ... is a good problem to deal with ...

I am going to see if I can achieve nice clothes not just on the weekend as I have done recently ... but a bit more often ... 

But first a cup of char ... Get out that door. And to get started again ... on my clothes which I have started on for packing ... And seeing what is fitting ... 

Moods and mystery

It was a prime example today on awakening to another day of mish mash. How I rather do what is not overwhelming ...  

I had loads of ideas. On waking. It would be gorgeous to see if they worked and have more time for it and catch the spark too for structuring more in depth writing ... and more ... 

Frustrations and Fun ...

Getting further and further into the outreaches of life beyond this world ... Although I was notified of the passing of Nancy. I have been trying to take an interest in reading ... The focus comes and goes.

The way a birth is announced. The humour in life from others. The moaning. The seriousness of things that others take in life, worried about this or that. I realise I have actually a lighter step than most ... In life now ... 

That is another plus ... What matters to others ... No longer matters to me ... I am free of such burdens ... 

Enjoying the gift of love

On from that ... I had before ... I have this to keep me buoyant in a home not quite how I have it yet ... there are good things to do and enjoy ... today is remembering the gift off love here flowing and floating around me ... 

Or a life yet settled ... either ... it will come in time I may stray off the path at times ... I have lots that have passed that is good and kind again ... even when it has been a sea of ever changing faces and personalities ...

A Struggler in all aspects of western life ...

decisions have been made on some items as they flow through my one man stand to bust the stash in my seclusion ... while the many other clients or not as in my case get intervention ... 

That will be sorted and stashed too. Using and perusing life that is no more. The end goal keeping me focused when I am in OK mood. A lot of tears, a lot of fears, a lot of seductive taste moments, steamy moments, a scented flame. Items flung into the trolley without hesitation, others not so. Items in use in the room or function in the flow of life in the way we maybe able to select. And that life is not greener. The fact that I am not at home sitting on my ass brooding as is often the thought. I am striving. I have not wanted to go on, at times. In discussions only at Christmas with my daughter's boyfriend on how suicide is portrayed. It is not a selfish act. There is so much more. Only those of us who have been there will know.

We have all had adversity in our lives ... 

Advertising ...

yesterday junk leaflets straight in the recycle bin ... the one touch rule finally in force ...

Rule, regs, guide lines, I am old school, which is becoming quite a banter ... in sisters new job post crisis in my time line ... cottage hospital is no more ... 

So too in the adverts my sister so loves ... I appreciate the time took to film, the cinematography. Although sometimes I don't just get it. And I hate all those late night ads. The selling and vying to part with your money, in a often still unethical way. 

Again being in an insulated world for a while. It gets even more irritating than it first did. Age defy era I am in, but still age is not only to do with the experience life gives. The fact I require the need to live. I can cheat and have absolutely everything delivered, I could have an evening meal delivered. I could work from home. I could never see another soul, not, only those deliveries, bring people to you instead. 

The Found Opportunities

From the undecided decided decisions made yesterday 

Using the really elegant lidded casserole dishes ... Relinquished from their hiding place and not from here ... More taste sensations ... more firsts with dishes and dumplings coming from a once lost room that went lifeless 

It is now bursting with life this morning ... This lunchtime and if I so fancy this afternoon ... Making a few biscuits not cooked in this particular kitchen yet ... 

The Lost Opportunities ...

still continue ... It is to be for now ... I would like to be free of the burdens of excess. My maternal Nan condensed down life before she passed away and distributed belongings during and end of years ... A concept I was adopting and then ... some ...

Therefore I am doing it ... a lot earlier to which is not understood. My daughter and I do not ever want to clear even a normal property either on my death, with the complicated life we lead, it will be required. My cousins wife took a month to clear her parents on death. Living in social housing there is a time limit anyway. Then the void period with time constraints to get this property back in use.

Another concept of social housing I like. A bit rigorous like funerals and birth, a conveyor belt of life. Here, then gone in a blink.

Decisions on the Undecided today ...

On items put aside from before  ... More space created, in these items getting to a destination for others to enjoy and use ...

They are a mixture of items not interested in, unlikely to use, or plain do not want to be reminded ... There are a lot of things that irritates my memories from a life led in that dank darkness and coldness of people's reactions to us ...