The insurmountable relief

in what some of the big milestones in life are fixed back into place, the documents needed if anything happens to a little un abroad, that she is finally gaining in experience with others, not the lone travel she has done a lot of in the U.K. My driving license not yet appeared in the documents collated from the clear thus far. The references back in place sourcing one from the start of time ... and a current one ... There is still a lot of gaps, a lot was supported where the urgency in the immediate time. 

I have a fire safe unfortunately the items like birth marriage certificates were not put back but I do have treasured items still there. It only fits so much ... and now the important events or documentation  in the once had is never there again ..

I have adapted to much back and different again... each day I am flinging off the ways that life with a hoarder rubbed off on us .. I question my shopping do I need that ingredient or can I make it tasty with that ... 

I did like my lotions and potions and a little bit of this and that ... I am rethinking all the time my Crafts ... my family find it different I am not sketching, designing, paper crafting or sewing or knitting or crochet or embroider ... I do things on my device that does not cause mess... only people think you social mediating or playing games... 

Although I still not had the patience to further the start of sketching on the pad... I still like the texture and feel of the medium on good quality artists paper!! 

The swirl of ideas

and the logistics of all new in tandem. The health, paperwork, clearing, collating, packing, getting into a swing . Along with my biggest step out to date ... taking the actual plunge in rehabilitation of  time in patching the way for a future. One that is nearer than ever out of this environment 

I would like to have been in Kernow by now. The struggles of staying on course in this life paramount The time when was it worth the bother!

However the strive to rehabilitate around in more structure is coming to be more of a robust area to atune life on 

A ,long way back

creating versus caring ... designing versus admin ... the aspects of life reduced in all avenues ... The  tiny step out into the community in minimal fuss... for a very short time, while clearing a life at home too ... The long discussions and decisions and whining to a definitive start to see where I sit or stand in life from now. 

How much stress do I want in a life, career or mission? Do I chug along ? Will I still be forthright? The countenance of an environment where everybody and their suggestions are considered with gusto in co or facilitating individually changes in the NHS and business private, retail or the like en masse with the media output change in direction ... 

And where the voluntary world has not quite caught up with the real world too. The process of references ... like me out the loop a while and isolated ... A doctor will not give passport or personal references. They have enough to do without more form filling and red tape! 

The computer systems reduce a lot of manual admin. 

The rest I cannot divulge for the forms one signs in the hospital world ... 

Return to sender

the scratch card etchings, tobacco, newspapers are only a scratch of refusals, bemoaning and avoidance 

I have been able to enjoy an occasional tipple or beer. And it is still in the bottle when I go back to it! The change of a mind over time was insidious .... until the influx of external stress ...it manifested out of control ... the bystanders gave up too ... plus the determination in a daughter to track a life towards her wishes and aspirations... in tandem with this 

I am really feeling it now the fraught of everything and key people and events at the same time now easing a tad ... the reflections that time lost is impacting me now. A daughter time which had many connotations we are adapting, talking and both feel the tidal flow into ripples