Would we ... Could I ...

yes I did ...

In this past month ... I have ripped out this home in places

It is looking miles better for it ... Smells and refreshing to the core

Who says we chose to live like it ....?

See how they age ...

Or trial out  a big brother type experiment ... Only on your own and put obstacles in the way to break the spirit down ... and see how they react ...

chuckling over this matter ...

... Creativity bring and sits in its own clutter in mind too ... the evoking of memories all over the place and way back ... those long and recently gone who taught us so much intentional as much as unintentional. 

The opportunities given to us to find our niche in life. This overwhelming in itself. And that time which common sense did not prevail being left ... Where it belongs ...

The continuing and continuous empty space beside me ... along the now forgotten by others who briefly passed by in that time ... to the focus on what I have with what I have now ... 

And that we all face the same fate date ... eventually ... 

Keeps me going in what I will and am doing here and now 

Creativity in the Virtual world

The influx in a tattered

time

The varying speed of hurling out what was still kept in an unkempt en masse clear ...

The recent life that went in that time  ... the mouldy shit kept ...

The finds sparking diversions ... I have chucked a lot of stuff that could have gone in the first instance ... the annoyance of this waste of my time .... 

The wade through of what I can do without a vehicle ... to watt will be collected and finally the items coming with me or not 

I hope to off load selected items for the other new home in the north ... 

In the meantime the annoying time into attempts at the positivity this time brings ... 

In the tardyis of time travelled ... I nicknamed this the tardis .. It certainly is apt  

A sappy bee this mourn

in a twirl of a dust cloud
A trying to be less dappy
and a more a happy
these are times a choppy
in times that would normally be soppy

A Happy bee...

... even with the frustration. I achieved  a little more this evening towards the long term goal. I only hope the diversion tonight did not leave me tight for time. This is the counterbalance in life with the now ... with the past ... 

It definitely entails a simpler life ... I'd be hating clutter more and more each moment I spend in doing it .... There really is better things to do with the time ... 

Again the good from this bad ... I am getting a workout every time 

Listening to others with their woes,

keeps thee on me toes,
the instantaneous connect,
with strangers alike,
deep and personal in a moment,
sometimes more than
in years, those you've have known ...

Life in a Cupboard ...

A lotta board papers I will get them to collect 

All the paraphernalia that added to the clutter ...

That was supposed to be collected in the first place 

I think there might me another box of papers from interview time too

That and the bombardment you get when life spits at ya 

The Conflicts in Disgust

The path alone 

human nature blows hot and cold 

Just like the weather 

human dependant on the right mood that day 

So like at a stormy cliff top I go alone 

Just as I did in that time ... 

a very tiny transformation tantalising and tastefully ...

.... being tackled in a more continuous task, to break free of the invisible burden that time still puts on life enjoyments

Unless you have been there ... There is no full understanding how it impacts life ... so badly it kills

And my late husband is not the only; one even in this road ...

Restoration in thyself ...

... a little of everything in this home ... and I am loving the newly acquired changes... this difficult Saturday day ...

I am on a twenty four hour retreat ... Peace until thine elf and imp ... A little mischievous... to feel some what more human ...

Non existence ... in the detestation

There is such an array of bombardment in situations off the usual, it is opposite to a lighthouse beacon. You are sizzled from the relentless ramming at your personality. The way you are thought to live and be.

Once you are down in the pit of disgust. The invisible throw of stones, the hate, the spite, the venom really sets in. You get to see the worst in worst in human nature. 

The next Strategy

get another bulk of clutter organised

And wind down for the Silver and the scatter and the op

A still in the Shadows ...

that have moved about ...

A comfort in the air ... A cosy time in the peace of night ...

Captured progress in pictures too ...

... The pictorial light appear around the pit hole in darkness ... 

Collating Photos in this muddle ...

...the memories too ... 

The items ... not just the photos being reunited, not quite in the relevant places one would assume yet ... The freshness in the air and my own being is immense ... A long way to travel yet ... Many diversions and steep inclines and the bendy roads my travels have taken me ...

They used to be filled with nature in the surround  ... seeing the recent unearthed photos of the Breacon Beacons, the dam, Cenarth Falls  ... All the beautiful parts that is Wales and the dialect ... One previous Wedding Anniversary card from my late husband in Welsh ... in this recovery programme of self undertaking ...

The cosy times together as a family ... As I now travel alone again ... 

... morning ... noon ... midnight ...

I have been up to my head in a problematic cupboard ... I will keep at it ... I started with the swift removal that is of ease ... charity and the bin ... 

And I did what Crisis suggested ... All that time ago ... 

I am finally behind a big door ... floor  to ceiling stuffed ... Yuk ...!

A Haze in the Day ...

A Grey May Morning revealing the buildings outside in shadows of misty nooks ... after a restless night of thoughts ... 

Plans and solutions seem to feel the time within a depth of a home in repeat, circles and shadows into freshness, a straighter path ahead and a light descending that you need sunglasses ...

It is now so different in areas ... Although still overwhelmingly a task in daze ... rather like this days dawn ... 

Housekeeping all areas of this life ...

... a little of everything ... allocating decent varied amounts of time in various aspects of  this particular life and home ...

I have cleared back another area. I have made more swift and slow processes in decisions on items slowly disappearing from a tattered life that came ... that was ... and now gradually dispersing ... 

... Breaking the legacy of habits ...

... in a more robust way ... 

... Tonight is some thought into the next batch of solutions in disposal of items ... 

I am taking no prisoners ... It seems as though how much can you put in here ...? 

And how long ... (with not going round in circles in doing so) ... will it take to reverse the trend ... ? 

And bemusing my sister in the meantime ... It surely must be empty by now; and heaving a significant sigh of relief ... 

The fact too, we seem to have followed a few coffins one after tother. And how my wishes now are in that respect ... if I am given the news I will die ... What I would do now after experiencing so many ..

... rather than have everyone look at the time and think ... how much longer will she be?

What we plan and what actually can happen have entirely different outcomes ...

I never thought I would not, not drive or be squeezed out of a home ... It did happen ... 

A stupid life ...

... Couldn't stand seeing the parts I dealt with today ... today ... 

A quick toss and it was gone ...

The result ... glimpses ... around of the home back of that it was ...

How much can get stuffed in a life ... when you don't care no more ....

An X-ray ... a travel home ...

Trying to keep up to speed with distance between us in family life ... 

Catching up with the family in Bristol from afar while my daughter stayed for a time to get away from all around her in her recent loss.After staying with me for time just the two of us after her Nana's funeral. She travels home today ...

My sister had her X-ray today ... I will be down with her when she has an op. 

All the while my head back in the muddled strands of life in the supposed sanctuary called home ...

Perpetual Adjustments ...

... The time lost in this ... 

The haunting melodies of the silence ... 

The kitchen where a lot of the activity can happen ... And I am talking in the present ... The doors pushed ajar in or out ... 

The tap on the bot ... 

and no one is there ... 

This happens every time a major movement within the home 

Simplify in Simplicity...

a year in leap ...

The 29 February and this month special ... the best legacy of a husband now past ... to dive into life and explore anew ... 

Three rooms to thin out more ...these have started their retransformations ..  Diverted from plans into mid March with new complications ... Where I was to be ... I am elsewhere on a start to achieve a lot more by mid June to commence the next stage ... 

Today is simple food ... simple tasks and luxuriating in space emerging from dark to light ...